Chivalry Is Dead And Cabs Are Scary

I was about to post something likely boring about my job but since I told a friend about a recent "dating" disaster, he insisted I post that instead. So here you go.

I say "dating" because this incident happened with a guy I've been friends with for years who I may or may not like to kiss a little if the mood is right and we are both single. And a few weeks ago, we were out with our group of friends and we realize - we are both single again. So we start joking about how we should hang out over the weekend. Then, later, our group of friends were all emailing about how we were stuck in our houses due to the impending hurricane that weekend and my friend -we'll call him John - and I start joking again on the mass email like "hey, we could keep each other company during the hurricane, wink wink" - just to make everyone else feel awkward.

Then I get a separate email from just John basically saying-

 "No really. We should hang out."

Ah. Got it. We are no longer joking about this.

So we do hang out.

Then, last friday, I get a text that says "you still single? want to make out?" Which is funny and cute and I take the bait and go hang out with him at his house.

But here's where Chivalry dies and I turn into an indignant Southern Belle.

He tells me his address - and it's like A MILE walk from the metro, uphill, on a very poorly lit street. So I text "what would it take to get you to pick me up at the metro?"

And he says: "Ugh. I just ordered takeout and I have to wait for it. It's a $6 cab ride though - totally worth it"

UM. First of all -- "Ugh"?!?! Like, you are exasperated that I even suggested such a thing? Second - if the cab is only 6 dollars and is "totally worth it," ya think you could OFFER TO PAY FOR IT, RICO SUAVE?

Ahem. But I try not to be too diva, and I start walking. And he texts "the food is here, should I pick you up or are you walking?"

And here's where I get real passive-aggressive, cranky-pants girly -which I'm not proud of - but I snap back "I'm walking"

So he says "k see you soon."

Wrong Answer, Captain Clueless. You would've scored points had you gone ahead and picked me up.

So I then reply "not THAT soon, considering I'm still like 6 blocks away..."

And he doesn't get it. And he asks where I am and when I tell him, he texts "oh, when you pass such and such road, my apartment's right there."

Alrighty then. Guess I'll keep walking. Alone. In the dark. Uphill.

So I cross that street he referenced - and I kid you not, his address does NOT exist. Like, the numbers JUMP his. And I walk around for at least 10 minutes looking for his address in vain.

So once again, I pull a total girl move (I promise I'm not normally this bad) and instead of just calling him, I decided I'll keep wandering around and see how long it takes him to even notice. So when he finally DOES come outside to look for me, he finds me walking down a driveway with my arms crossed. And he asks "are you mad?" to which I reply -

"A little bit. Yeah."

So we are off to a GREAT start!

We go in his house and I calm down and end up staying for awhile and when I go to leave - he doesn't offer to take me back to the metro.

Good. Grief. This guy.

So I refuse to act all Damsel In Distress-y and I shrug and say "k see ya", and head off into the night again.

But as soon as I can, I hail a cab. 'Cuz I AM a damsel and I DON'T want to be walking alone in the dark anymore, dang it!

And I tell the cab I just want to go to the nearest metro and ask if he's cool with that and he tells me to get in. Then he immediately asks where I live. And I'm not-smart and tell him the general area in Virginia that I actually live, but I reiterate that I'm going to the metro.

So he starts pressuring me -"oh, I can just drive you all the way to your house instead! I live in that area too! Why would you want to go to the metro?" and on and on.

And I'm so annoyed with the whole evening at this point that I am NOT HAVING IT. So I snap "if you don't want to take me to the metro, just let me out and I'll walk." And he keeps on, and acts offended and says something creepy like "oh, am I making you uncomfortable?"

So I'm done. And I tell him I'm just going to walk and I get out. And we've gone, maybe THREE BLOCKS. And I kid you not, he yells out his window "Ma'am! It's a dollar sixty!"


I look at him and say something like "are you KIDDING me?" and I give him one dollar and start walking.

So he slowly drives past me and gets to the end of the block. And pulls a U-turn and sits there. Waiting. With his lights pointed up the street towards me. And the only other person on the block drives away, leaving me alone in the dark with this cab. ....then the cab starts driving back towards me.

So I FREAK. OUT. And thankfully he drives on past -- but then shortly after, I see a cab coming back from his direction.

So now I'm calling John. And simultaneously trying to find some place to HIDE every time another cab drives by that may or may not be MY cab, which may or may not be stalking me. (yes, I'm sure I over-reacted, but I've had some road rage incidents happen to me before so I don't trust anyone in this city to NOT turn crazy anymore). So I'm frantically begging John to HURRY UP AND GET TO ME before I get kidnapped by some crazy cab driver who is mad about sixty cents, and John runs out to meet me ---

and then he sort of complains about having to run.

Then he asks me to retell what just happened and he sort of seems like he doesn't quite believe me.

So now I'm:
-offended that he didn't take me to the metro in the first place
-embarrassed that I had to ask for help
-afraid he thinks I made the whole thing up to get him to walk me to the metro

So we get to the metro and he's all "text me when you get home so I know you made it" (Gee, how gentlemanly of you...) and I DO text -

and never hear from him again.

Perhaps I should've just taken my chances with creepy cab driver. At least HE offered to take me home....