Aaand We Are Back To Gut Instincts

You'll be happy to know, I once again went against my intuition and agreed to meet up with a guy for coffee this week. And once again we can add to the volumes of Bad Dana Dates. This one's short, but still amusing so I figured I'd share.

I wasn't initially excited about this guy. I got an "uptight" vibe off him. But, once again, I told myself to give him a chance. Besides, he's a teacher out in Virginia so:

A. He at least won't be the typical Tool that is a DC Politico.
B. One of my exes - one of the few guys I've actually really fallen for (and the Old Mark in the Mark Scenario here)- was also a teacher in Virginia so I take that as a good sign.
And then I quickly realize I should stop talking myself into guys.

His suggestion for our meet up? Starbucks. After work. On a week day. Which is fine since we are just getting to know each other and that means we won't be stuck through an entire meal together if things never get interesting. But he chooses a Starbucks in an underground mall in a part of northern VA that few people hang out in. Have I mentioned I get easily confused in anything underground? Parking garages, malls, they are all labrynths to me. So I'm already anxious but I find it fairly quickly.

Then he arrives.

So I start to walk up to the counter and he says: "Oh, I'm not going to get anything because I just ate dinner and I'm full. Plus I already had Starbucks today."

Um... I already had Starbucks today too, buddy, but don't you think we should order something since we are here? And not sure if you remember this, but you are the one who picked the place.

Fine. So I'm like "ok, well I'll get something."

And I do.

And I pay.

He doesn't even offer to pay. Even though he asked me out. And chose Starbucks. Then indirectly forced me to buy something since he was not going to.

So we end up having small talk for like an hour. Which included him whining about the fact that D.C. drivers are too aggressive (to which I proudly announced that I'm one of those aggressive drivers), then we moved on to other topics- like the hike I was planning to do that weekend. He says he has done that hike - and wasn't a fan.

Shocker.

He says he doesn't enjoy scrambling over rocks (which, incidentally, is the part of hikes I enjoy most. I mean, come on. It's like a giant, natural jungle gym! What's not to like?!) and he warns me there's a part where you have to leap from one set of rocks to another, over a drop that would kill you if you misstepped.

Hmm. I've heard a lot of people have hiked this. I assume I would have heard by now that there is a CHASM OF DEATH involved.

But still, now he has me a bit nervous as we end our little chat and go our separate ways. So not only did this guy invite me on an underground date like we are a pair of Ninja Turtles, and made me pay for coffee I didn't need, but now he's given me anxiety about my hike and causes me to foolishly announce to my fellow hikers that we will be leaping over certain death at some point on Saturday.

Then I wait through our FIVE HOUR HIKE for this scary leap -- and it never came.

Done with him.

The next time someone encourages me to "just give a date a chance," I'm just going to yell "DEATH CHASM!" and run away....


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