Insight into registering for a nosey flag football team

Below is the list of choices I was forced to pick from when filling out the registration for my co-ed flag football team today:

Are you:
In a relationship
Married with Children

I have so, so many questions about the relevance of this list to my ability of playing football. For instance:
-Will I be a better wide receiver if I'm in a relationship, but not yet engaged?
-Could a person with children be a better quarterback than a person who is only married?
-Does "single" in this context mean "can't find anyone to date me?" or does dating really mean "in a relationship but also cheating"?
-And what about Widowed with Children? Or Divorced but Engaged Again? Are they not allowed to play football at all??

At the end of the day, I fear this goes to team captains just so they can know who they should or should not hit on. I'm considering writing in "Lives With Cat" just to make sure no one bothers me....