DP Dana (Disaster Prone Dana) Strikes Again

So I know you all are waiting to hear that I tripped and fell or got sold to a random ex boyfriend or something at my charity date auction, but unfortunately (?) it was pretty uneventful and ended up being friends buying friends rather than people purchasing strangers. My friends ended up buying me for $210 --the highest bid of the night, I might add *brushing off shoulder smugly* (they joked they were buying me to clean their apartments though ... ugh, You're Welcome, Cancer Research!)

The climbing in a prom dress was also fairly uneventful, although one girl did take a fall and the EMTs were brought in. That part was scary but it turned funny when the EMTs were walking out right as my friend Cheryl jumped off a wall we were bouldering on and ended up kind of crumpling, laughing to the mat on her less than graceful descent. One of the EMTs wryly called back "maybe we should stick around....?"  which entertained us. I'm sure they were thinking "these stupid kids....."

Here are some shots from the evening:

That girl has on stilletos....Rock. On.

This just made me laugh

I'm so graceful.....

Our group. You know, just hanging out....

But while neither of those events were particularly disastrous, never fear, Internet, I do not come to you empty-handed!

I've mentioned that I'm disaster prone in that I:

A. have personal random acts happen to me that may or may not be life threatening.
B. I've ended up personally involved with several national disasters (9/11, Hurricane Katrina, Swine Flu, Oil Spill Disaster....)

But there's a third category in that:

C. I tend to randomly stumble upon other people's situations as well.

In college, I drove down a street right in time to witness a car flip over a guard rail on an overpass and come tumbling down to my street, throwing the driver out in the process. I've come across people with car trouble in parking lots, along interstates, helped push a lady's car stuck in snow on an on-ramp (ha! tried to help push it. Thank goodness someone else finally stopped to help too. Someone with actual muscle mass...). I've stumbled upon a lady slumped over her steering wheel in a D.C. roundabout during rush hour, I found a car flipped on its top in the ghetto on my way home, and I was the lone person recruited by a policeman to talk to a girl who had been molested next door to a house party I had just left, to make sure I hadn't seen anyone matching the description of her attacker.

I've also been the one to discover property damage inside the official state guest house for the President...and had to tell the diplomatic security agent I was on a date with at the time about the damage. ...which he had to report...even though we weren't actually supposed to be running around in there at the time...woops! 

So it really shouldn't be that surprising I suppose that during my relaxing jog this past Sunday I ended up being the first one to arrive on the scene when a severally intoxicated man nearly drove himself into the river alongside my running trail.

The scene:
I'm running past an industrial park and hear a loud noise and see smoke. Thinking something exploded, I keep running towards it (because, again, I'm the Smarty Pants who chooses adventure over self-preservation every dang time) and I see a car (SUV really) has lodged itself atop a rock pile, hit a pole, and the driver is looking at me through his window saying "help" and pawing at the window.

That will change your running pace pretty quickly!

So I run faster, open his door and ask if he's alright, and realize he is waaaaasted. (not that I wasn't already clued in to that from the fact that he just inexplicably drove across a trail and up on rocks in broad daylight.) His air bag had deployed and he was moaning and yelling incoherently and I don't have a cell phone so I'm looking around for other runners who might and simultaneously talking to the guy like "you are alright, buddy, and no, I really don't think you should try to get out SINCE YOU CAN'T STAND ANYWAY but on top on that, you might be injured and stuff..."

A few other runners stop and a couple of them call 911 while everyone just kind of stands around while I'm still trying to talk sense into Drunky. At some point we realize there's gas leaking from the car and I flash back to my last vacation in Athens, Greece where my friends and I ended up in riots here and my friend Gina and I foolishly continued to take photos around cars on fire that also appeared to be leaking fluid....Seriously, HOW DO I STAY ALIVE?? Anyway, the man is insisting on getting out and since the car may blow up anyway, I figure - what the heck. Then I have to inform him that -Ooops, it appears your door is stuck on the LARGE ROCKS YOU JUST ASCENDED... (while the other runners - ALL MALE - continue to stand around. Thanks gentlemen! Don't worry about the girl trying to help this guy, no big deal!) and finally a policeman shows up and lets most of us go since we didn't actually see the acident happen, we just saw the immediate aftermath.

I wish I had a photo of how random this was. The man's SUV climbed rocks and squarely hit a pole and that is the only thing that kept him from driving right into the river.

And all that went down at the precise moment I was trotting by.

Seriously, maybe I need to just start staying indoors....