Insight Into a Typical Text Conversation With My Friends

(Recent conversation below, slightly altered/paraphrased to protect the innocent)

Me: So, I jogged 7 miles last night and have felt like I dislodged my ovaries ever since. Lol. Is that even a possibility?? 

Also, I want *Name of mutual friend* to cut bangs again. I feel very strongly that she's hotter that way but not sure how to tell her. I'd want to know.


Friend: Does she not have bangs now?
I can't remember


Me: She does not. She should.

Friend: Oh! I thought you meant she should not. I'm tired. Words are hard.
Don't tell her. Bangs are a trend. She will probably want them by spring.


Me: She's had them long for years and says she'll never go back. I really feel that I should tell her. Her hotness is at stake.

Friend: There's a chance I don't pay enough attention to my friends' appearances...Years you say ?!

....Well just think about how you'd feel if someone actually said that to you. Appearances are a sensitive subject.

Me: I'd want someone to tell me though. TELL ME HOW TO IMPROVE. Haha

Friend: Um, you're kinda more like a dude than a chick though....so consider that as well

...With feelings and all
...Not appearance
...You're all woman with boobs and stuff

Me: Omg that made me laugh which hurts my dislocated ovaries....