A Week in the Life of DC Dana

I've been with my current government client for three years. I'm the lead for a team of consultants who provide communications support across everything from website to branding to press relations. And one great tool for public relations and stakeholder outreach is: events.

So on top of my other duties, and given my past experience with events for President and Mrs. Bush, I end up leading my client's big stakeholder event around this time each year. And every year, it nearly kills me.

And when things get crazy(er), my life gets even more Dana-y...er. By that I mean the whole Murphy's Law of everything bad/strange that can happen, will happen- is enforced even more often. It gets to where I can't even believe it anymore and I just start laughing and want to share it. So I'm going to. Here we go:

Let's look at last week. I start by meeting up with a man I met at an event several weeks back. I had high hopes for him as dating material: then promptly learned he has multiple children and hobbies pertaining to fantasy worlds.

Hopes: dashed. Yep, that seems on par.

(he was a nice guy, and I'm not one who can judge odd hobbies, but the kids thing? Am I really someone who should have multiple children thrown at them right now? I think we all know the answer to that.)

Fast forward to Tuesday night, after another hectic day, I get ready to rush off to a social commitment, and I realize: I still owed something to my Big Boss. (in my job, you have many bosses. The Person Who Can Get You Kicked Off Your Project; The Person Who Can Get You Kicked Out Of The Company; The Person Who Can Get You Kicked Out Of The Country... ok that part's embellished. Although, living in D.C., we probably all interact with people who actually could do that so the possibility remains.)

So my Big Boss falls somewhere around Could Get Me Kicked Out of the Company. So, kind of important to meet deadlines with him I suppose.

I ask if I can do it first thing the next morning.

I'm told that should be ok. So what happens first thing the next morning?

My car is barricaded in the garage by a circle of police tape? No, but that has happened.

I don't realize my shirt sleeve is see-through when I put it on and I just so happened to be wearing a temporary U.S. Army tattoo from silliness the night before? No, but that too has happened...sigh...

 What happened, was - I walk in to find: my computer screen looks different.... and I can't log in.

Apparently, they are starting to push a "migration" out and lucky me was one of the first to get it.

Perfect timing. My life is already crazy, I'm late with an assignment, and now I get to re-learn technology.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting for a call because one of my managers had set up a 9:30 chat with me.
....And he stands me up.

Fine, I'll focus on my computer issues. I try my security card; it asks me to just use a password. I try my password; it says it's wrong. I restart the computer; same thing happens. I offer to set my computer up on a date with the sassy fax machine in the corner. Nothing. Works.

So I call the help desk, and the guy tells me to try all the things I've already tried. (sigh.) Then, he gives me two different passwords to try; neither work. Finally, I hear him saying, half to himself, things like "....your migration did not go well...." then "...this will cause all sorts of issues..." and finally just


Meanwhile, my cubical neighbor, who also got picked to migrate today, has the blue screen of death and there is talk of replacing his entire hard drive.

This sounds really promising.

By this time, I'm now supposed to meet with a different manager for a chat.                               ....And he also stands me up.
Seriously, today? What is going on?

My computer tech finally says he'll send someone out to help me, and I go to another part of the office and try to log into a computer that has not had this awesome "migration" business.

I settle in to a strange desk, put my security card in, and -

promptly get a message that my card pin has expired, so now I need to log in with just a password...

Of course it has. Of course my pin chooses now to expire. And password- sure! You mean my old password that didn't work, or the two new passwords that don't work?

Clearly I'm not logging into this computer either.

I trudge back over to my desk and there's now a new tech support man staring as my screen.

I set my Venti Red Eye down on the desk and try to explain what's going on.

....Three minutes later, the tech support guy hits my coffee with his arm and knocks all of its beautiful, life-giving contents onto the floor, and onto my bag sitting on the floor.

And here's where I can't stifle giggles anymore. Really? What else is going to happen this morning? Are my pants going to split open too? (...Again)

The tech support guy feels awful and keeps trying to make attempts at blotting it out, and at one point just drops a napkin right on the spill and leaves it there. Like a tiny, sad little band-aid. And every time I look at it, I start giggling all over again.

That napkin, is my attempts at being normal. And that giant coffee stain is the enormity of weirdness that is my actual life.

I text my manager and try to explain what's going on (and why I'm not getting to that assignment I should've done hours ago) and he replies something to the effect of "oh good grief."

Good grief indeed.

We finally get all of that squared away  - two and a half hours later -and I go on to have another hectic day.

Fast forward to Friday, when I'm rushing out yet again to try to meet up with friends. (note to self: stop trying to plan things after work and just go home and sob quietly to your cat each day until this event is over.)

And shortly before I leave work, I decide to:

-Say yes to an invitation to run a relay from DC to Boston


-Join a Flash Mob dance

Because I have FOMO and need serious help. 

I shut down my offending computer, head off to meet friends, and put this week behind me.

Tune in again next week, to see if my office catches on fire, I date a guy who admits that he just got out of prison, or I finally just join the circus....