This is a Fairly Safe Neighborhood...

I had signed up to pull a plane...

the week before, one of the friends had to drop out

The mroning of - the other friend called sounding like one of Marge Simpson's sisters. She was ill.

BUT - she was a trooper and came anyway.

11:00 am we head out to the Dulles airport.

12:30 PM we see these guys.

There's no way we are beating those guys.

12:45 PM we see the other teams around us putting on gloves and chanting.
There's no way we are beating those guys. Either.

2:00 PM We finally get our chance to pull this 1. xxxx ton plane. My friend and I take our place and start to prepare....

2:01 PM We feel a tug on our sleeves and hear a shrill "ladies! ladies! we have too many people!"

Some other woman on the team ...

I head to meet my friends at the H Street Festival.

4:00 PM text friends to see where they are

4:15 PM all the gauges on my car freak out and I feel like I'm imploding. I pull over, park illeagally, turn my engine off -
and can barealy get out of my door.

What the? What on earth would cause my door to suddenly stop fitting my car?

I get out -- because whatever is happening is clearly a John Grisham type bomb under my hood that someone put there because I've suddenly become someone powerful with secrets -- close the door to see if it will close properly. Walk around the car looking for I don't even know what, get back int eh car, turn the ignition (while bracing for the explosion that is obvioulsy going to ensue)

...and my car just makes a strangling noise and won't turn on.

4:20 PM "Never mind. Car just broke down. Have fun!"


4:25 call my father for advice

4:30 call a tow truck

4:35 call my insurance because apparently they have to call the tow truck

They verify my address and I tell them I'm not sure that's right and don't see an address but I give them my exact cross sttreets. They sound like they understand...

5:05 I get a call from the tow truck. He's in the wrong place. He's now mad at me because the insurance people gave him the wrong address.

Then he hangs up.

No "I'm still on my way," no "don't worry, I'll be there soon." Just - silence.

5:06 I call my insurance back

And I forgot to mention that the On-Hold music they keep using is Telletubbie-esque. So I didn't lose my cool when my car acted like it was going to explode. Nor did i lose my cool when my tow truck was sent to the wrong place after I waiting 30 minutes. But what may finally push me over the edge?

The Telletubbies.

Why would that be the music of choice? Are they trying to push already-stressed out Roadside Assistance victims over the edge completely? Do they believe that children call in the majority of vehicle emergencies?

Whatever the reason, it was not helping.

My tow guy finally arrives, barely says anything to me but continues to talk seemingly to himself on a blue-tooth while he hooks my car shamefully up to his truck as people around us look at me like "what did you do???"

He asks me if I'm "ridin' with it." Uh. I don't know how this normally goes. Do you not just take it somewhere?

He tells me he doesn't know if the garage is open this time of day, so I choose to ride with it. We get in and I'm fairly certain I smell marijuana.

"you don't know where yo car is going?"

well *I* wouldn't leave *My* car just anywhere....

I fix it myself..

Oh dear. ..