There’s a line Johnny Depp says as the Mad Hatter in the movie Alice Through the Looking Glass that I’ve always loved: “You're not the same as you were before," he told Alice. “You were much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness.”
Firstly, I love the terms “muchier” and “muchness.”
But secondly, I identify with those words. I’ve often worried that I portray too much muchness for most people. I feel things deeply, I gesticulate wildly, I analyze… over…-ly.
On the other hand, however, I’d hate to be muchness-less. It’s part of who I am. I’ve known it was part of who I am for a long time, but it was reaffirmed when I took the Enneagram assessment a few years ago.
The Enneagram, in short, is a personality test that categorizes everyone into nine basic types. I’m a sucker for any such test because I love learning more about how I’m wired and how that may differ from how others are wired and how we can all understand each other better.
I’m categorized as a “Seven” type in the Enneagram. Sevens are the Enthusiasts.
We are described as the ones who will happily bound into a new room and say, “Sign me up!” without fully understanding what we’re signing up for.
I like embodying Seven qualities because it keeps life exciting. My appetite for experiences has pushed me to travel the globe, have unique adventures, and see what it’s like “behind the curtain” in multiple career paths I was interested in. My incessant drive for more can exhaust those around me at times, but it can also bring good. More than once, I’ve been told my annoying boundless enthusiasm encouraged a friend to push past their normal limits and experience something they were grateful for later. I’m thankful for my muchness.
When COVID hit, however, and we were all temporarily confined to our homes and forced to face realities about our lives and flirt with existential crises, I misplaced a good chunk of my muchness.
I got reeeeally comfortable in my house. I had zero FOMO propelling me because I knew everyone else was trapped in their houses too. No one was doing anything without me. I wasn’t missing out on some opportunity. The need for hair washing ceased almost entirely.
To answer your question: Eight. Eight days was my personal best between washings.
* Cut to Dana brushing shoulder off smugly. Out of pride, not because of dandruff. Ok maybe a little bit of both. *
Inertia took hold.
As time went on and the world reopened, I had a hard time getting moving again. In all honesty, I’m still not even close to my pre-COVID levels of muchness. I’ve declined social events. I haven’t had a race adventure like this one in years. I’ve even turned down travel opportunities (if you knew me five years ago, you would be calling 911 right now). But I’m learning how to come back alive.
You may not feel you’ve lost any of your muchness. Or maybe you’ve never felt super muchy at all, but kind of wish you did. Your muchness might not be outward exuberance. It could be voracious learning, generous caregiving, or producing high-quality work. Regardless, I think we all have times when we just don’t feel the level of excitement about our own lives that we want to. And I think we can improve that with a little effort.
Five Ways to Restore Muchness:
1. Do it anyway.
When we find ourselves less muchier than usual, we have to accept the hard truth that motivation may not come on its own. Ever. We may have to create it by getting into motion anyway. Otherwise, we could remain for months, or years, in a rut thinking “one day I’ll feel like doing something again. Then I will.”
You’ve heard people say things like, “Feel the fear but do it anyway,” or “Do It Scared,” right? In ruts, it’s more like: Feel the apathy but do something anyway. Do It Begrudgingly.
Try taking stock of old activities you enjoyed in the past and push yourself to do some of them again. Start small and attempt one of them and see if motivation follows. Sometimes you have to take a step before you feel like it.
Even if that step is super small, which leads to my next tip:
2. Don’t let Perfect keep you from Better Than Nothing.
When attempting to restore muchness, it’s easy to think “I’m so far from where I was, it’s pointless to even try.” If you used to run five miles a day and now you can’t imagine running for 10 minutes straight, it’s easy to believe it’s not even worth getting out there. But something is always better than nothing.
If you only have ten minutes, then go for a walk around your block. It’s not only better than nothing physically, it’s also teaching your brain that you are someone who prioritizes movement. Your brain will eventually get onboard and start serving up a little bit more “feel like it” the next time and it’ll get easier. You can try this with anything, not just physical activity.
3. Try new things with an open mind.
When you’ve lost some muchness, there’s a chance you may have fundamentally changed in some way and that’s ok too. We all evolve. Maybe it’s time to explore new activities or social groups and see what sticks.
And remember to give yourself grace. Maybe we don’t need to put pressure on ourselves to be exactly as we used to be. Maybe we need to discover who we are meant to be now. Today’s Us may contain a lot of the same things we used to embody, but on a deeper level or with a new twist. If you don’t feel excited, maybe it’s time to see yourself doing something totally different.
4. Give Back.
I can’t think of a better way to feel more happy and alive than by donating time or money to something I believe in. And this is something you don’t even have to leave your house for if you can’t muster that right now. You can call and check up on others, write letters, etc. Although, it is important to eventually get outside, which leads to the last tip today:
5. Force yourself to be social.
Humans are wired for connection. As draining as it might sound, we really do need to physically be around other humans a little. Even if you hate small talk. Even if you prefer scrolling Instagram. Even if you’re on day nine of no hair-washing and you really want to see how this plays out before you reenter society. Just do it. Do it today. Go interact with someone even if for a few minutes while paying for groceries (that you didn’t DoorDash for once because THE POINT IS TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, guys. We can do this.)
I don’t know what personality type the Enneagram would put you in, but I do know each type has certain strengths and gifts. While enthusiasm is one of my key gifts, others are gifted at being good listeners, or committing acts of service, or fighting hard for just causes. Whatever strength you have that used to feel stronger, whatever level of muchiness you may have had in your past, let’s try to get back there. We can still be excited about our own lives. We can live unboring existences and make an impact in our worlds. It may take pushing ourselves begrudgingly, but we can restore our muchness. <3
